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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22585318">Forgotten Words</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/neptunev/pseuds/neptunev'>neptunev</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff and Angst, Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:56:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22585318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/neptunev/pseuds/neptunev</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An expected letter and unexpected words.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leliana/Female Surana (Dragon Age), Leliana/Female Warden (Dragon Age), Leliana/Warden (Dragon Age)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Forgotten Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>orignally posted in polish. written and translated by me, with a help of @somniaran from tumblr.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She couldn’t stop her hands from trembling, her fingers desperately clutching the piece of paper in her grasp. She was shaking so badly that she was afraid she would tear it by accident, yet she couldn’t loosen the grip, like she was scared someone might steal it from her.</p>
<p>With every step her tempo increased. She didn’t want anyone to notice that she was in a hurry. If she only could, she would run all the way from the rookery to her quarters, but this was not how the spymaster of the Inquisition should behave. So she walked, her steps quick and lively; regretting her decision to hole up in the far nook of the castle for the first time.</p>
<p>The familiar faces she met on the way suddenly seemed distant. Josephine spotted her in the Throne Room, waving her hand, about to call out to her until she saw the look in the woman’s eyes. Lady Ambassador froze on the spot, her eyes quietly following the redhead until she was out of sight. Leliana passed by a few agents, ready to report. She ignored all of them.</p>
<p>While walking through the garden she felt a cold wind reaching her from the Frostback Mountains. She felt like it was a long time since her lungs were filled with fresh air and her cheeks red from the cold. She returned in her thoughts to the old times, when the cold was contrasted with warm lips on her lips. The envelope in her hands was already completely crumpled.</p>
<p>The last obstacle loomed in front of her. Stairs, which were supposed to lead her to her destination, where she should have been a long time ago. Stairs, which will save her from falling into madness. She began to run. She stopped caring whether someone would see her or not. Only the letter mattered. Only she mattered.</p>
<p>Her hand finally landed on the handle. She opened the door and immediately slammed it behind her. She sat down on her bed. She didn’t know how long she sat there, holding the envelope with that letter in her hands. She had waited so long for that very moment. She spent so many nights dreaming about the time she would unfold that piece of paper; but now that she finally had it in her hands, only one small move from reading its contents, the fear of finally doing it overwhelmed her.</p>
<p>What’s inside?” – she wondered. What if it’s something she didn’t want to know? Something that makes everything meaningless?</p>
<p>A moment ago the uncertainty was killing her, and now she wanted nothing, but was still consumed by it. To have hope.</p>
<p>After a few minutes of stillness she finally built up the courage she needed. She opened the envelope slowly and carefully, so as to not damage the letter. Her eyes darted to first line:</p>
<p>“<em>Dearest Leliana”</em></p>
<p>She couldn’t stop the tears from falling as they immediately spilled down her face. <em>Her handwriting</em>. The way she wrote the letter “L”, with curled tail. As if she paid attention to it, as if it was <em>important</em> to her. Before she continued reading the rest of the text she caressed the paper, guiding her fingers over those two precious words.</p>
<p>“<em>Before I tell you what I was doing in these few last months, I want you to know that I miss you and I can’t stand waking up everyday without you by my side.”</em></p>
<p>She laughed quietly, and then sobbed.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Of course, the quest of curing the Calling was never going to be easy, but I never expected it to impact us this much.”</em>
</p>
<p>She smiled sadly. She went back to the times when they were together; when they thought nothing would ever keep them apart.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t want to keep you in suspense. My mission is not finished yet and I can’t come back to you.”</em>
</p>
<p>Her hands once again clutched on the letter. For a moment she stared straight ahead, her face devoid of emotion, before finally returning to read.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I hope I can at least comfort you by telling you that I have good leads. Morrigan’s grimoire turned out to be useful in the end. You’re probably wondering where I am currently. My research has led me to old, elven temples. The Dalish Clan nearby offered to let me stay with them. I owe it, without a doubt, to my elven descent (those ears, they always gave me away!)”</em>
</p>
<p>She giggled, and her face filled with a warm smile. She wondered what would happen, if someone entered her room right now and saw her like this. They would probably assumed, that some very incompetent demon is trying to impersonate their spymaster.</p>
<p>
  <em>“It reminds me of our old adventures; my first meeting with Dalish. I remember how all my hopes and expectations were shattered. They were just a bunch of ordinary elves, and I expected them to reveal to me all of the secrets of my ancestors. At that time it was important to me to discover who I was, where I belonged. I’m glad that I don’t have to look for the answers anymore now. They all appear when I’m next to you.”</em>
</p>
<p>If she told her this ten years ago she would blush for sure. Her Warden had a way with words, but she wasn’t that Leliana, a bard who dreamed of love like from legends, anymore, but Sister Nightingale, the brain of spy network of the mighty Inquisition. Still, she had to admit that it was a sweet sentiment. She closed her eyes, ready to start daydreaming… but wasn’t the time for stuff like that!</p>
<p>“<em>Anyway, I have everything I need to continue my search. I don’t want to go into details about my last discoveries, so I don’t jinx it, but know that I feel confident about my clues. As far as I know, your situation is also quite tense. Corypheus… I can’t believe his existence was hidden from me. I’m the Commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden, I think I deserve some explanation, no?”</em></p>
<p>Her love was always very proud of the position she held. She admired her as someone who also followed duty and calling in her life. She always said that it was Leliana who gave her life meaning, but deep inside spymaster knew that half of her lover’s heart belongs to Grey Wardens. It was among them where she found a home and family for the first time.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I also wanted to say that I’m sorry about Justinia. I know she was close to you.”</em>
</p>
<p>The sight of this name still caused an unpleasant sting in her heart.</p>
<p>
  <em>“So, Inquisition? That’s what you’re doing now, hm? I heard that this Inquisitor is quite an interesting person. Dalish? Look, another elf saving the world.”</em>
</p>
<p>She came to the conclusion that it’s in fact unusual, that the last decade in Thedas gives them not only one, but two elven heroes. Maybe it’s time for elves to return to glory?</p>
<p>
  <em>“Josephine’s with you, right? If someone had to make peace in this world using only words, it surely would be that girl. When I’m back, the three of us have to meet – for tea, or maybe something stronger?”</em>
</p>
<p>She thought about all the meetings with Josie, which ended with absorbing intoxicating drinks . It was…interesting, she had to admit it.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I heard that Cullen’s also here, as , I think, tactical advisor? Forgive me, but when I was in the Circle I never expected to see that boy in any commanding role. He was  r u n n i n g  a w a y at the sight of me, you get it, Leli? Everyone knew he had crush on me.”</em>
</p>
<p>Leliana, amused, wondered how Cullen would react if he heard this. It’s been ten years, he grew manlier and matured. Despite it, everytime she looked at him she noticed the shadow of this awkward, shy boy, who was that dense, he had fallen in love with a girl who didn’t feel any attraction to men and wasn’t shy about it. She laughed out loud.</p>
<p>
  <em>“So I see you gathered the best of the best. You’ll win it. I believe in all of you. I believe in you. Always, don’t forget.”</em>
</p>
<p>Last months were really tough for her, from the explosion at the Conclave and Justinia’s death, to destruction of Haven. It was easy to lose your faith at moments like those. The fact that the most important person in her life couldn’t be with her in her hardest time depressed her even more. She needed these words more than she realised.</p>
<p>
  <em>“When all of this ends, we will be together again. We could move to the seaside, what do you think? You can start raising nugs (actually, how is Schmooples II? I hope you left him in good hands), and I can study ancient magic. In the evenings we will sit on a bench in front of our house and look at the stars. You will tell me stories about separated lovers, who meet in the sky every night. Just like back then, by the campfire. I miss you."</em>
</p>
<p>“I miss you too.” whispered Leliana.</p>
<p>
  <em>“But you already know it. I don’t want this letter to be too long. Let’s leave some topics to talk about when we meet again. Remember, would evil people worry about being good?”</em>
</p>
<p>These words. She heard them ten years ago after the confrontation with Marjolaine, when she had doubted in herself and her morals. She forgot. Suddenly everything brightened up in her mind and started making sense.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Always yours,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Taygen”</em>
</p>
<p>She put the letter to her chest and started laughing, and then crying. Or maybe she laughed and cried at the same time, she didn’t know it herself. However she knew now, how to walk ahead with confidence, without fear of stumbling and falling all the time.</p>
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